I think about you on All Hallows. I was the only person to visit you that day even though you had no idea who I was and kept asking for your son. I’m glad I got to say my goodbyes and make arrangements for you. It seemed right after you’d basically done all the arranging for our whole family for your lifetime. Anyway I don’t know if I’ll be here in 2025. Things are difficult as time goes on. I know you’d be telling me to just ‘get on with it’ and not dwell on where we are. Things don’t really seem so clear cut the older we get. No idea how you made it to 92. Until next time.

Here we are in 2023, still going strong-ish, am older now than you were when dad died, and you first started to withdraw from things. Now I am this great age, I realise that you simply didn't understand the passage of time and how things subtly change and manners move on. Been watching of all things 'Gilmore Girls' which is a perfect study of changing social mores and behaviours. Not sure you would have recogised yourself in any of the characters, but I see elements of myself across all the four generations and how being stubborn really doesn't necessarily help anyone. How much time is wasted being 'right' and not enjoying and living in the moment. I think we would have got on a lot better if you had tried to see other viewpoints, but we are who we are, and we can't be someone else. I am going to open the door to Trick or Treaters today for the first time, in your honour! I know you called it begging, but children don't see it like that, they aren't responsible for being encouraged to knock. Anyway, I am being more and more flexible as time goes on, just to see ... No idea why I am still writing in here six years later but I'll probably come back while I'm alive. If I'm not here next year, then I will have spent every moment living in the now and not the past.

Well, Mum, it appears that I am the sole visitor to this page. It's been four years, and I recently put your ashes into the ocean in Norfolk, next to a lovely tea shop you would have enjoyed. There's a video to commemorate the event. My friends and I were talking about old times this week and we talked about you, your presence is still felt and will be while your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are alive for sure.